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BShouting it Out^: Religion and the Development of Black Gay Identities

Terrell J. A. Winder1

Published online: 13 October 2015 # Springer Science+Business Media New York 2015

Abstract Using an intersectional framework, this paper analyzes the behavioral and interac- tional responses to anti-gay religious teachings among young Black gay men. Drawing on 26 semi-structured interviews and 18 months of ethnographic observation data, I highlight the role non-religious youth development organizations play in the negotiation of contradictory reli- gious and sexual identities among young Black gay men. My findings illuminate new patterns in the understanding of personal narrative reconciliation while simultaneously highlighting new directions for research in the roles that youth-led spaces play in socialization practices. While previous research on religion and sexuality has relied primarily on interview data, this study uses ethnographic data to supplement interviews with youth to further elucidate the community building and collective negotiations of religious teachings. Ultimately, I argue that these young Black gay men work collaboratively to repurpose religious messaging in order to justify their sexualities; to reinforce positive behaviors and explain everyday occurrences with religious exclamations (e.g., call and response, shouting); and to create new religious communities.

Keywords Sexuality . Religion . Identity development . Community . Organizations

Many churches demonize a lot of people…You need a spiritual discernment to know what church to go to and where you get your lessons from. —Lawrence

I heard this at church on Sunday: You can’t prevent a snake from biting you, but you can stop the venom from getting into your system —Henry

Many Black gay men will be exposed to religious messages about sexuality. The opening quotes highlight the critical tensions between on the one hand sexual and racial self-identification and on the other hand religious teachings experienced by young Black gay men. Lawrence1

Qual Sociol (2015) 38:375–394 DOI 10.1007/s11133-015-9316-1

1All names of people and places have been changed to maintain participant confidentiality.

* Terrell J. A. Winder [email protected]

1 University of California, Los Angeles, Sociology, 264 Haines Hall, 375 Portola Plaza, Los Angeles, CA 90095, USA

illuminates the deeply felt dilemma to negotiate negative messages from church communities about sexuality while still practicing his faith. Henry, in contrast, appropriates a religious lesson from a sermon he has heard in church to counter anti-gay ideas and messages. These two quotes highlight the role of religion, including both the rampant, negative religious-based messages and the more positive aspects of belonging to a religious community, in the socialization of young Black gay men. Drawing upon observations of religiosity in a secular organization catering to Black gay men, this article addresses how these young men mitigate negative experiences with religious institutions and teachings to make sense of their presumed incompatible religious and sexual identities.

Youth-serving organizations have played constructive roles in assisting LGBT youth and young adults to explore their identities (Boxer 1996). However, we know less about how young Black gay men in an organizational setting negotiate religious messages of racial and sexual identity. Drawing on previous work that has identified the delegitimization of anti-gay religious teachers (Pitt 2010) and the importance of personal religious spirituality for youth (Kubicek et al. 2009), I analyze the role of participation in youth development organizations in helping youth to 1) receive authoritative messages on religious teachings and 2) work collectively to reclaim and repurpose religious messaging. Furthermore, by combining both individual religious experiences with collective faith expressions, this analysis contributes to the knowledge of lived religion in everyday life.

Specifically, this article will show how young Black gay men in one community-based organization 1) appropriate religious teachings to explain hardships and homophobia, 2) negotiate a religious and sexual identity following negative religious messages throughout childhood related to homosexuality, and 3) use the organizational space to recharge and recreate a sense of religious community. Using participant observation, the study illuminates strategies that youth employ within the non-religious organizational space to internalize gay- friendly religious messages deliverers of those messages. Additionally, I analyze the ways that organizations can intentionally and unintentionally be structured to imitate religious worship services— in particular, Black church related practices, such as, shouting2 and call and response.3 Taken together, the analysis suggests that while religious dogma can transmit damaging homophobic lessons that youth struggle with throughout young adulthood, aspects of religious teachings and communities can be used within LGBT organizations, both struc- turally and substantively, to aid youth as they face adversity and transition to adulthood.

Reconciling Contradictory Religious and Sexual Identities

Churches and religious institutions have been major political, social, and moral pillars of Black communities (see Morris 1986), but they have also been associated with homophobia. While some studies have documented the health benefits of religiosity (Foster et al. 2011; Koenig et al. 1998; Oxman et al. 1995; Pardini et al. 2000), others have documented the many ways that anti-gay theology has negatively affected the church’s response to HIV/AIDS,

2 Shouting is a religious practice often found within Black churches that as been linked to African dances. In contemporary Black Christian churches, this dance is often linked to the Holy Spirit and one being taken over with the spirit, to the point joyous movement (see Holmes 2004). 3 Call and response is associated with the Black church and is a collective experience where the pastor or preacher is encouraged and his/her message reinforced through the vocal expressions of the congregants (see Costen 2010).

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homosexual behaviors, and the development of LGBT identities (Alder et al. 2007; Fullilove and Fullilove 1999; Smith et al. 2005; Ward 2005). Consequently, scholars have found mixed evidence of the role of religion among young Black gay men: Generally, belonging to a religious community may be beneficial, but blatant homophobia can prove quite harmful (Kubicek et al. 2009).

Research on the levels of homophobia within varying ethnic communities has been inconclusive. On the one hand, high levels of religiosity and religious practice among Blacks have been positively associated with high levels of disapproval for homosexuality (Glick and Golden 2010; Lewis 2003; Negy and Eisenman 2005). Given the strong historical ties of the Black community to religious institutions, researchers have argued that Blacks are more likely to be exposed to negative attitudes about their sexualities on a more consistent basis (Barnes and Meyer 2012). Negative religious teachings may be more problematic, because LGBT people of color are more likely to reside within communities of color rather than predominately white gay enclaves (Cantu 2009; Moore 2010b; Ocampo 2012), perhaps contributing to the amounts of racially-based homophobia to which they are exposed. That is not to suggest that predominately Black religious environments are more homophobic than others, but rather that the importance of religion within the Black community would subject its members to more instances of anti-gay sentiments, homophobic teachings, or even openly derogatory remarks. Given the contentious relationship between homosexuality and the Black church, it is important to examine the mechanisms youth employ to combat negative religious- based criticisms as they transition to adulthood.

At the same time, studies that have focused on Black gay men, have highlighted the many ways that a sense of religious community and involvement with church activities, social gatherings, and services can be beneficial to the psychosocial development of LGBT peoples (Pitt 2010; Walker and Longmire-Avital 2013). Much of the research that has examined the ways that LGBT people who are also religious has, understandably, identified how they might negotiate these identities within religiously centered organizations and churches (Fuist et al. 2012; O’Brien 2004; Pitt 2010; Rodriguez and Ouellette 2000; Thumma 1991).

Considering the central role that the church plays in the Black community, we may expect that religious culture and teachings will play a role in the socialization of young Black gay men, even in non-religious contexts. For instance, participation in religious communities may play a role in assisting Black gay men as they deal with everyday challenges related to HIV, while still transmitting negative views of homosexual behavior (Foster et al. 2011). These impacts can be seen in the case of Los Angeles County, where, following a positive diagnosis of HIV, African-American MSM (men who have sex with men) are the group least likely to be linked to care within three months and the group least likely to reach viral suppression (Frye 2014). Research has suggested that LGBT affirming churches in Los Angeles, specifically, have often provided a safe space for those coping with the effects of HIV infection (Leong 2006).

In the sociology of religion the concept of Blived religion^ has been advanced to study and understand individual expressions, practices, and beliefs that are incorporated into everyday activities (McGuire 2008; Talvacchia et al. 2014). As articulated by McGuire (2008, 16), BThe focus on individual religion necessitates examining not only people’s beliefs, religious ideas, and moral values (i.e., cognitive aspects of individual religion) but also, and more important, their everyday spiritual practices, involving their bodily and emotional, as well as religious, experiences, and expressions.^ While this focus on the individual religious experience indi- cates a shift away from formal worship, McGuire (2008) also asserts the role of collectively

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derived and constructed religious experiences, realities, and worlds. The focus on lived religion illuminates a way that religious practices can be used to justify and make sense of everyday challenges and setbacks among the lives of the young adults in this study.

Previous research that has considered the religious practices of Black gay males has identified the multiple ways by which they respond to religious based stigmatization. Relying on Festinger’s theory of cognitive dissonance, Pitt (2010) observed that a primary method of combating the negative messages that come from religious authority among Black gaymen is to discredit or delegitimize the deliverer of that message. He argues that given the likelihood that Black gay men remain strongly connected to the Black community, they are more likely to experience these poignantly anti-gay moments in a negative way (Pitt 2010). Likewise, Kubicek et al. (2009, 15) found that among young Black men who have sex with men, positive religious messages were typically incorporated into a Bpersonal or individual relationship with a higher power,^while negative religious messages were either Breframed or rejected^ over time. Shallenberger (1996) found similar tendencies to adopt individualistic spiritual practices among a population of primary white lesbians and gay men. These studies, however, do not explain why or how young Black gay men come to internally hold and publicly display Black gay identities to others in their social worlds. By examining the individual lived religion practices of young Black gay men further, we can elucidate the pathways to claim a Black gay identity within broader hostile external environments. My research seeks to identify how exactly young adults in Los Angeles are able to repurpose and reclaim a religious theology and practice all their ownwithin an organizational space dedicated to encouraging the successful coalescence of their identities: religious, sexual, racial, and otherwise.

Theoretical Frameworks

Intersectionality provides a practical framework for analyzing the marginalization and self- identification development of young Black gay men. Advanced by legal scholar Kimberle Crenshaw (1991), intersectionality was employed to assess the politics and interconnectivity of racism and sexism among women of color. Other research rooted in Black Feminist theory has advocated for the use of intersectionality as a framework that addresses the multiplicative impacts of race, gender and sexuality (among others) on the individual (Collins 2000; Crenshaw 1991; Hancock 2007; Moore 2010a, 2012). Its analysis centers on the systemic institutions of oppression that come to bear on life trajectories by exploring experiences of marginalization and subjugation of multiple minority identities.

Due to dual systems of oppression that work to stigmatize homosexuality and perpetuate racism to which Black same-sex individuals are subjected, the multiplicative effects of these minority identifications have rendered Black LGBT peoples outcasts within both the Black community and the mainstream white gay community (Han 2007). Manalansan and Martin (1996) have characterized these experiences as those of the Bdouble minority,^ or those who identify as both a racial and a sexual minority. By understanding these links between multiple systems of oppression, the cumulative matrices of sexism, classism, racism, and heterosexism can be illuminated. As Baca Zinn and Dill (1996, 326) explain, BThe idea of a matrix is that several fundamental systemsworkwith and through each other. People experience race, class, gender, and sexuality differently depending upon their social location in the structures of race, class, gender, and sexuality.^ Intersectionality therefore provides a practical framework to further understand the unique experiences of gay Black youth as they grapple with homophobia and heterosexism.

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In order to further understand the intersection of multiple identities in this study, it is useful to look at identity development theories. Contemporary research on identity development and conceptualization of self considers the individual as Ba storyteller who draws upon the images, plots, characters, and themes in the socio-cultural world to author a life^ (McAdams and Olson 2010, 10). Understanding the developing person as a continual author who is working to narrate a connected life story is important to youth who are working to create innate conceptualizations of self that rationalize current experiences, especially for stigmatized gay youth. Laumann et al. (1994, 291) write, BDevelopment of self-identification as homosexual or gay is a psychologically and social complex state, something which, in this society is achieved only over time, often with considerable personal struggle and self-doubt, not to mention social discomfort.^ In grasping these different social aspects of identity construction and narrative building, religion and religious beliefs may play a major role (Yip 2003).

Intersectional theories have been used to understand the socialization of adult racial and sexual minorities. These studies examining Black gay male identity (Crichlow 2004; Hawkeswood 1996; Hunter 2010; Icard 1986) have highlighted how race, sexuality, and religion tend to shape and inform the proclaimed identities of Black gay men. Icard (1986) highlights the ways that Black men who are dealing with conflicting sentiments concerning their sexual identities can either become Bgay Black men^ or BBlack gay men^ by electing to place precedence on either their racial or sexual identities. Furthermore, sociological studies by both Hawkeswood (1996) and Hunter (2010) emphasize the ways in which Black gay men understand their gay identities. They argue that, while many works consider that either race or sexuality must dominate as a primary identifier, for many cases, Black gay men articulate these aspects of self as equal and inextricable (see Bowleg 2008).

Employing an intersectionality framework allows this project to uncover the processes that influence the specific social location of these sexual and racial minority young men. By understanding the strategies that young Black gay men employ in response to particularly homophobic experiences, this project elucidates the ways that youth are trained to respond to these homophobic attitudes by their peers. The current study builds on previous research by examining the role of non-religious youth development organizations in the negotiation of contradictory religious and sexual identities among Black gay young men as lived religion.

Data Collection, Setting, and Analysis

This study draws on ethnographic and interview data that was collected at a Los Angeles community based HIV prevention and treatment organization, UpLiftLA, over an 18-month period. I conducted 26 semi-structured, in-depth interviews. Each interview lasted between 30 and 120 minutes and covered four major themes: racial identity development, sexual identity development, gender identity development, and organizational involvement. All respondents ranged in age from 18–31 and the age of the average respondent was 24. I also collected ethnographic data at weekly meetings over an 18-month period. While initially the young men were wary of my presence as a Bresearcher^ within the space, my identity as a young Black gay man and my regular participation in the weekly discussions facilitated recruitment of the young men into the study. After a few weeks of my consistent attendance at weekly meetings, the young men’s fear that I would Bjust use them for research^ was dispelled. They began to feel more comfortable with my presence and participating in my project, eventually

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incorporating me into the group as an insider. My research expanded from collecting ethno- graphic fieldnotes at weekly meetings, to offsite events (i.e., educational presentations, conferences, and balls),4 and informal social gatherings (i.e., clubs, birthday parties, brunch gatherings and dinners). The framing of these young men as Btransitional youth^ by the organization is distinct as they are considered to be entering a new phase of maturation, Bemerging adulthood^ (Arnett 2007). Understanding this population as emerging adults, we can more readily identify the pedagogical nature of the space as a place to Bwork out^ the conciliation of seemingly disparate identities.

UpLiftLA, a non-profit organization founded in 1992, houses a youth-driven leadership and health-education program that services primarily young Black gay men. It is located in an inconspicuous building in the downtown area of Los Angeles. Focused on reaching young people aged 14–29, the organization has been particularly instrumental in working with the local gay House/Ballroom Community and Latino party crews, leading to a significant presence of young Black men within the space. To the passerby, it would appear to be just a common warehouse, but upon entering one finds a staircase leading to a suite of offices housing the youth organization. The only marker on the door is a small sign advertising the organization’s name.

Young men travel from all across Los Angeles County (and sometimes neighboring counties) to this organization for their weekly leadership meetings and HIV testing services. Young men who arrive early stay in the room next to the main meeting space where they share food, exchange the latest gossip, and enjoy a little television. As the time draws near for the meeting to begin, the participants transition into the main room where chairs have been organized in a circle.

These weekly leadership meetings cover topics such as HIV/STD prevention, dealing with Bthe cards^ dealt in life, establishing positive gay relationships, and sexual roles. In addition to these leadership meetings, UpLiftLA offers HIV/AIDS preven- tion services, health education, STI testing, and individual counseling. Given that identifying and finding LGBT communities of color can be difficult (Moore 2006, 2010a, b, 2011), I selected the organization UpLiftLA because they were well-known among the Black gay community, targeted the population that I sought to find, and would provide a consistent sample over time.

Over the course of my time at UpLiftLA, I observed 125 different gay youth of color (almost exclusively Black) at the weekly leadership meetings. Almost 70 % of the young men only attended between one and three meetings, which limited my ability to follow-up for one- on-one interviews with the entire sample. Ultimately, I conducted 26 in-depth interviews with self-identified gay, bisexual, and pansexual Black young men. At any given point one might move to another state, find themselves coping with homelessness, or become scarcely seen following unemployment which made it even more challenging to locate potential interview respondents. Of those I interviewed, 56 % were employed, 26 % were fulltime students, and the remaining 18 % were unemployed. While my interview approach resulted in a non-representative sample of the group, by combining interview responses and ethnographic observation I was able to record how people talk about spirituality and religion on an individual level, as well as observe their behaviors and actions within a larger group context.

4 Associated with the LGBT African American House/Ballroom community, balls are a form of competitive performances where Bhouses^ and individuals compete in a variety of categories (see Bailey 2013).

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The majority of all respondents identified as primarily Black or African-American (n=24/26) and preferred masculine descriptors (i.e., male, man, he, his, etc.) (n=25/26). As part of the study requirements, all interviewed participants identified with being members of a larger Black community via their geospatial locations and by participating in social circles dominated with other Black-identified young adults. Seventy-eight percent of respondents self-identified as either gay or homosexual, while the other 22 % self-identified as either bisexual or pansexual. Throughout this article, I use gay as an all-encompassing term that includes those identifying as pansexual or bisexual as these youth frequently included themselves as part of a BBlack gay community.^ The majority of respondents were residents of California at the time of the interview and almost 80 % are originally from Los Angeles (n=20). Interviews were conducted in person for 24 members residing in Los Angeles at their choice of location (e.g., respondent’s home, local café, public park, etc.), and for two respondents living out of state interviews were conducted via Skype video call. All names and identifying characteristics have been changed to protect participant privacy and confidentiality.

I organized and analyzed ethnographic fieldnotes and interview data through a process of abductive analysis that involved closely analyzing primary data in light of relevant theoretical literatures (Timmermans and Tavory 2012). In this study, the relevant literatures included sexual socialization and coming-of-age studies, sexual identity formation, intersectionality, Black attitudes towards homosexuality, and the role of institutions in identity formation. In light of these literatures, specific occurrences in in-depth interviews and ethnographic obser- vations stood out. The analysis focused on instances when youth instructed others on how to perceive their racial and sexual identities through religious teachings; specific references to negative words including sin, hell, and damnation; and religious exclamations or expressions such as shouting, BHallelujah,^ and BYes God!^ I grouped all such instances together in separate documents and examined for variation and common factors through processes of coding and memo writing. I then reconstituted the resulting analysis based on how youth viewed their own sexuality and how group interactions sanctioned and valued particular displays and manifestations of being gay Black men. Once an elementary set of analytical themes arose, I continued data gathering aimed at finding negative cases. I coded ethnographic observation data separately line by line with emerging themes that were related to interview data. I distinguish interview and ethnographic data by using Brespondents^ or BR^ for interview data and Bfieldnote excerpts^ for ethnographic observations.

Sinning Without Reconciliation

In light of a majority view among Christian religious communities within the United States that homosexuality is deviant, youth raised in church-going communities and families are frequently subjected to anti-gay messaging from an early age. Such exposures lead to varied and tenuous relationships among gay youth with Christian communities (Talvacchia et al. 2014). My findings reveal deeply rooted religious and sexuality conflicts among many of the respondents. More than half of respondents (15/26) expressed that family, friends, and peers had negative responses to homosexuality. In each interview, respondents (R) were asked to describe the messages that they had received about identifying as gay, bisexual or pansexual. Some of the words used to describe their sexualities included: Babomination^ (R3, R25, R4, R21, R16); Ba sin^ (R3, R8, R12, R19, R25, R2); B[all gays are] going to hell^ (R8, R17, R25, R21, R20, R13, R11);Bmorally wrong^ or Bimmoral^ (R25, R21, R15, R13); Bagainst God^

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(R16); B[should be] prayed away^ (R3); Bdamnation^ (R17); B[gay is] bad in the Bible^ (R24); and Bagainst God^ (R16). These responses highlight the deeply rooted negativity of religious teachings to which these young Black gay men have been exposed.

Gay Identities and Church Communities

What do such negative messages mean for a Black gay man coming of age? Two respondents provide concrete examples of how these interactions have shaped their identities. Gary was a 26-year-old preacher’s son who spoke poignantly about his childhood experiences and realization that he was gay:

This is going to sound so cliché, but I always knew I was different. And I remember learning about homosexuality in church and always being very interested because I grew up in the church and because my dad’s a pastor. So, always being very interested in homosexuality, I would always look up stuff about it in the Bible. So even though I probably didn’t identify as gay until like college, I had crushes on boys in high school; but, I didn’t realize that’s what it was at the time.

From this example, it is clear that Gary’s early church experiences sparked an interest in his own sexuality that went unrealized until college. It is well known that people who are in deeply religious communities, where homosexuality is discouraged, have harder times accepting their own homosexual identities (Buchanan et al. 2001; Clarke et al. 1989; Wagner et al. 1994). Gary noted that the Bible was his point of reference in understanding homosexuality. While some LGBT people have come to interpret religious texts in ways that validate their sexualities (Yip 2005), using the Bible as a guide to understanding sexuality, especially homosexuality, proved discouraging in Gary’s case. Additionally, being the son of a preacher heightened the conflicting interactions of religion, race, and sexuality. Even with his own interest in Blooking up^ homosexuality within the Bible, this did not help him to recognize these feelings or orientations within himself as Bcrushes.^ As he noted in the longer interview, Gary received specific messaging that equated homosexuality with Bsin,^ Babomination,^ and being simply Bmorally wrong,^ as he matured within a Christian church environment. He told me the story of having found the obituary of a gay uncle and the subsequent conversation with his mother:

I was asking my mom about how he died and he was gay. There was something around [his sexuality] and he was murdered. I think it had something to do with him being gay and very flamboyant— that kind of stuff. So I asked her does that mean he’s in hell, and she said yes. So those were the things, the very early messages I got and in many ways still continue to get.

Illuminated in this passage are the major ways that being gay and flamboyant are seen as reprehensible. Gary’s mother explained that his uncle was murdered because he was gay and flamboyantly expressed his sexuality. Instead of condemning the act of violence against a family member, his mother extended judgment on the victim by suggesting his eternal damnation in hell.

These early experiences tended to be particularly derogatory for these young men who recalled that others and they, themselves, were often condemned to hell. One interview respondent, Rahsaan, had very strong memories of the negative messages that he had received growing up. A 21-year-old bisexual man, Rahsaan invited me into his home and rehashed

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some of the disparaging messaging. At the end of a small cul-de-sac where he lived alone in a modest sized apartment he told me:

Well [being] Black and bisexual the first message that I received was that I’m going to hell, it was a sin and it was a choice I made on my own. My parents really didn’t approve. Well they definitely didn’t approve of any homosexuality at all. The message I got after that would be that any gay man had HIVand that they were sick or disgusting. That was pretty much the first two messages that I got about that.

Rahsaan, much like Gary, emphasizes that his sexuality was viewed not only as a sin or condemnation to hell, but also as Bdisgusting^ and a pathway to disease. From his response, it is evident that the messages Rahsaan received regarding homosexuality were not only disapproving, but also associated homosexuals with being diseased and morally compromised. The connection between homosexuality and disease has been longstanding. Rahsaan’s family drew heavily on popular discourse about homosexuality as a disease, which is ofte

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