Your final essay will frame your topic in a way that builds on your first essay, drawing on the evidence and insight you have acquired throughout the semester and nuancing your perspective by developing your thesis in tandem with a critical exegesis of the materials you have researched. Your essay should be 5-6 pages in length, double-spaced, 12 point font, one-inch margins, with MLA (or APA) formatted citations and a works cited (or references) page. Your essay should also include annotations (see below). In evaluating your essay, I will also be looking to see that, where applicable, you have incorporated my feedback on your first draft.
Here are the major elements I will be looking for:
Focus: Your thesis is explicitly stated and works as an organizational tool (with each paragraph developing your main idea in some way). Your thesis also sets the scope for your essay—a specific thesis allows you to write in depth about some facet of your topic. For example, compare the following theses (and, for each one, ask: Could I adequately support or develop this claim in 5-6 pages?).
1) Some people believe that lying is harmless, but lying actually causes a great deal of harm.
2) Some people believe that “white lies” are harmless, but, when we lie to protect the feelings of our friends and loved ones, we are failing to treat them as the fully autonomous people that they are.
Support: Your final draft should include a developed exegesis section, where you carefully and accurately present the authors’ ideas (in a way that reveals your nuanced understanding of their views). Each source that you include should be clearly relevant to your thesis. You should craft your thesis in response to the materials you’ve researched, so that their ideas and your ideas form a dialogue.
Coherence: Your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph clearly developing your thesis in some way. I’ll also be looking to see that each paragraph has a strong topic sentence, that you’ve crafted transitions between your points, and that you’ve separated your exegesis from your assessment.
Correctness: Your essay should be proofread. And, I’ll be looking to see that you’ve followed the formatting guidelines for MLA or APA—your choice.
Style & Annotation: Your writing has benefitted from a close study of the style of the authors—compose your essay with your annotation bank at your side. The annotations you provide should help guide your reader (me) in understanding how your essay is organized and why you made the choices you did. You might think of this part as My Research Paper: Director’s Cut. You are the director taking your audience “behind the scenes” and revealing how the magic works. As you annotate your essay, try to be as explicit and as detailed as possible in explaining why you made the choices you did, how these choices fit with the overarching plan for your essay, and what effects your choices might produce for your reader.
P.S. This is my professor’s feedback: I was impressed by the way you covered some of the sources you researched here–these are interesting findings! Your thesis should be more precise, so that you can really go in depth analyzing one aspect of your topic. “Internet use affects cognition in ways that are both beneficial and harmful.” “The benefits of the internet surpass its drawbacks.” These claims are too broad to receive sufficient support in 5-6 pages. Instead, consider something like: “The internet can have surprising effects on memory–specifically, we are less likely to remember information if we think we can access it later using the internet. In this way, the internet has become something like an external brain for its users.” You might need to do a bit more research to develop support for a claim like this–Ng, 2015 is perfect–but the idea is to have one specific claim that is developed in great detail, so that your essay is well-organized around one central idea.
Grade: C+ (79/100) Focus: 3 [Topic Development: 3] [Thesis: 3] Support: 4 [Reasoning/Evidence: 3] [Quality of Sources: 5] Coherence: 3 Correctness: 3 *formatting Style: 4
And I am a international student, Please use simple word to write.